Sifting through His Dark Materials: Intro

Every since the movie began to weave its way into the media, people have been asking me what I think about the books. I had to confess that I had not actually read them, so I could not give an opinion. And I hate, HATE, giving an opinion I know nothing about or relying on people to tell me what my opinion should be. I have always wanted to read these books, so now was a good excuse.

I am in a weird position, because I approach these books as a person who has a multi-layered interest in them. They interest me because I love a good story, they interest me as someone who wants to be a writer, and they interest me as someone who is interested in the questions that Pullman attempts to answer in his book. And yes, there are questions he is trying to answer, it's not just a story. There really is no such thing. Any writer who is remotely self aware, will tell you they have intentions behind their stories, and the good ones hide it as much as possible so as to disguise their intent with a good story.

Such is not the case the “His Dark Materials” series by Phillip Pullman. Or rather, that depends on which interview you read. In some interviews, he describes his work as just a story, meant to be read and enjoyed. Fine and good. In others, he states his intention is for this book to be the “Anti-Narnia” and to undermine Christianity. So, which one to believe? I have no idea, to be honest, I am still puzzling over those statements. I normally hate to know what an author’s point of view is before I read the story, but Pullman invites such speculation with his comments.

However, if he wanted his books to be read “just as stories to be enjoyed” he probably should have kept his mouth shut about his other purpose. C.S. Lewis never set out to write the “Anti-atheist” story. He just wanted to write the story behind an image that popped into his head of a faun carrying an umbrella. There is no doubt Lewis’ Christianity oozed out of him with the story. And frankly, I would not care if Pullman’s agnosticism oozed out of His Dark Materials. I would expect it. I just question whether you can make a good story by having a set agenda at the beginning. You should be able to enjoy a story for its own sake. I found myself not being able to do that with Pullman, as his intentions scream loudly from every page.

So, all that to say, my reactions to the book will be along those lines, as a reader, wannabe writer (I have written a book, just not published yet) and as a minister, my day job. I have chosen to divide my reactions into two, so hopefully it keeps each distinct. I want to react to His Dark Materials as a story in of itself, characters, plot, etc and then address the worldview present in the books.

Finally, I want to make it clear, I am not going to slam Pullman, make fun of him or make otherwise degrading remarks about his work. So, if that is what you are expecting in this little essay, then go elsewhere. You will find a lot of praise of Pullman in this little review of mine. I am not out to tell people whether you should read or not read these books. Of course you should read them. They are books that tell a fairly good story. This is not that sort of review. Rather, it is what I thought about the books on different levels.


I will begin with the reaction to the story in a few days.

I am geeking out!!!!!

I cannot wait for this movie. I have loved Batman since I was a kid and while I loved the Tim Burton version when it first came out, it has not born up well. I loved the restart done by Nolan. And this looks even better.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Let's hear the words of St. Linus the blanket

There and back again!!!!!!

Finally!!!!! Peter Jackson and New Line settled their pissing fest. You know what that means boys and girls:

The Hobbit, 2010.

And even more, another movie has been added as a sequel to the Hobbit and a prequel to the trilogy.

Let nerds everywhere rejoice!!!!!!

I personally cannot wait for Sir Ian McKlellan to utter the lines:

What a lot of things you use good morning for!

Thoughts on the Golden Compass

Well, to be more direct, I dont have any yet, as I haven't read the book. A number of people have asked me about it.

So, I just got it. Give me time.

Philosopher Soccer

A classic from the boys of Monty Python.

Does God Laugh?

An interesting question. And, if you observe most of us wacky nutheads called Christians you would say no, He doesn't.

Thankfully, the followers don't always represent the Master. God does laugh and His laughter is found throughout the Bible. Usually, the laughter is directed at idols, humans who set themselves up as gods or other such madcap hilarity.

The fact is, we are bumbling, stumbling buffons, and deserve all the mockery heaven can send our way. But, God's mockery is always done to get us to turn from our farce driven, sin sick, self centered lives and turn to Him for real, healing laughter. I think that is why everyone is afraid of sarcasm and mockery. If it is done right, it will penetrate us and expose us for what we really are. No one really wants that, as much as they say they do. We hate, at least I do, to made to look silly.

And when sin gets exposed in our lives, it gets exposed in all of its idiotness and rebellion. That is why I think we need more humor in the church, especially of a sarcastic nature. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying we should be sarcastic for the fun of it and to tear people down. Rather, that we are sarcastic on behalf of our own idols, pointing the gun of Holy Ghost sarcasm at ourselves.

I have been in the church a long time, in many different roles, in many different denominations, in many different settings. Catholic. Charismatic. Reformed Presbyterian. High School kid. Student leader. Intern. Pastor. Assistant Pastor. And one common strand I consistently see, is the complete inability to laugh at ourselves. We find it every easy to mock other Christians for their supposed sins, but we never laugh at our own. We think that we have the corner on God's kingdom, the center of its activity, so therefore everything is serious.

God's kingdom work is serious. In fact, way too serious for sinful, silly human beings to take themselves too seriously. Too serious to to see ourselves as the most important thing going. Too serious that we need laughter, fun, and enjoyment. Too serious not to tear into the idols of our heart.

So, in that vein, check out these websites. A good start to help laughing at the church. Personally, one of my favorites was the article in the lark news about a guy getting kicked out of small group for "not being authentic enough".

Anyway, here are the sites....

www.shipoffools.com
www.larknews.com
www.wittenburgdoor.com

A great new art film

One of the most moving and amazing things I have seen in a long time.

Submitted

It's done. My book is really done. And, I have resubmitted to the agent who was interested in my book. I am nervous. I am excited. I love my wife for spending lots of time editing and loving the story enough to keep encouraging me in it.


Now, I wait. I hate waiting.

Southern Baptist Pharisee

Overheard at the Missouri Baptist Convention

""I understand that the Bible does not say, never says, 'Thou shalt not drink,'" said Tolliver. "It is also true to say that the Bible does not specifically refer to drinking as a sin. However, … the only Christian position in this 21st century Show-Me state environment that we live in is total abstinence!"

Wow, someone has now set themselves up as the baptist pope. As my friend and pastor says, "I am glad they are working on being holier than Jesus."

Why we celebrate Halloween

"Mock the devil, and he will flee from thee. Fear of the devil leads to devil worship." Bono

"The best way to drive out the devil, if he will not yield to texts of scripture, is to jeer and flout him, for he cannot bear scorn.", Martin Luther


Now, how often do these two get quoted together? More often lately, I am guessing, but I use them to illustrate why we do Halloween at our house.

Notice, I didn't say celebrate, because to me celebrate means we love the darkness, evil, the devil, etc. And there is an element of that in Halloween that is disturbing, no question. And, if it is left there, it is not something I would touch.

But, Halloween is more than that, the fun, the costumes, the trick or treating, etc is a way for us to confront what we fear. And more than that, to make fun of it, to belittle it. But, how can we do that?

The answer comes in Christ and his complete work in our lives. His perfect love that lives in us casts out fear, drives away the devil in scorn, showing him for what he really is, a prideful fraud. And, it does the same for us, as the Cross exposes our self reliance, the worship of our selves and the idols that set themselves up in our lives. The cross mocks them.

Because, that is what God does with idols in the Bible. Colossians 2:15 that Jesus exposes the authorities, things in our lives, Satan for what they really are, silly, ridiculous frauds. And, the Old Testament tells us more. I call it the Elijah treatment. Check it out in 2 Kings 18. Basically, the prophets of Baal think their god can overcome Elijah's God, they cut themselves, they shout, they get naked, etc. Baal doesn't show up and Elijah mocks them with such expressions as "is your god out taking a piss?"

God does this sort of thing all the time. He treats idols and idol worship with contempt, especially among His people. And, the way He treats it in my life and the way I want to treat evil, and my fears when the become idols in my life.

So, we do Halloween, not celebrate it. We do not celebrate evil, the devil, witches or anything that is morbid. But, rather, we mock our fears, mock the devil, and mock anything that thinks it is more powerful than God. So, as my family does pumpkins, passes out treats, or goes trick or treating, we tell the devil, the darkness and our idols,

Piss off, I belong to Christ and I no longer fear the night.

Tyranny of the Majority

I have not written a serious, churchy post in awhile. I think it is because even though I am an assistant pastor, discussing church things have been hard for me.

Why? Well, let me just say from a few hard experiences in my time in ministry thus far. And, while most of those hard times come from my own sin, there is something else at work and indeed at work in the church in America that has spit it's poison into much of evangelical Christianity.

I am talking about the tyranny of the majority.

My church is currently training the guys who will be elders. In the PCA, we have elders that rule the church and they are divided up into two classes, Teaching Elders and Ruling Elders. The Ruling elders are lay folks elected to eldership by the congregation while the Teaching Elders are formally trained in seminary, etc.

Anyway, we were talking about what sort of church we would be in if we were not presbyterian. It was interesting to see that most, if not all of the guys in the training said they would be baptists or some other form of congregational style of church government. I think I shocked them all when I said I would go the other way, to the Episcopal side.

I guess my reasons are plenty. You could chalk it up to my catholic upbrining, my desire for the ancient and holy in worship or as my wife might say, I like the dramatic. But, really, it comes down for me to what I call the tyranny of the majority.

Protestants, especially in America, are chronically allergic to the idea that a bishop and a priest should be in charge. They talk about how one man can be corrupted by power, etc. I think that is most certainly true and a valid argument to a degree. The argument then runs that people can be trusted to elect their leaders and pastors themselves. Which then assume an opposite error, that the majority is not sinful.

I am not sure what to think of this reasoning. I am sure I have overstated the case, but really that is the heart of it. But sin cuts at everything. The Majority do make mistakes, sinful tragic ones. The Majority can make tragic assumptions that lead to broken lives, broken people, broken churches and broken pastors. Or, really, someone leads that majority into those things, which brings out the irony: One man brings about the corruption of many.

So, what to do with that? For me, right now, the answer is what we do in the PCA, there is a give and take, between the congregation and its leaders. Give and take between the local church and the presbytery. The system is by no means perfect and has many flaws, but it works for now. I think the important to remember is that the Gospel has to be the center or nothing, not presbyterian, not congregationlist, nor Episcopal system of government will work.

AT: Here I am come

One of the things that my wife finds maddening about me is my constant restlessness. She would be perfectly happy to stay in one place for the rest of her life. This shows that she is a grounded, solid and stable sort of a person.

As for me, I am constantly fidgety, restless, and wanting to move off into the wild blue yonder all the time. That shows what a flightly, silly person that I am.

As you might imagine, that has created tension in our marriage from time to time. But finally, I am seeing things her way. We cannot move every two years anymore. Our family needs stability and our boys need to be settled for awhile.

But, the problem then for me is, how can I change who I am? I think the good side of my restlessness is a constant need to explore and find new things. So, how do I balance these two worthy things, Stability for my family and the need to explore?

I think I have found the solution in an old dream of mine, to hike the Appalachian Trail. Some friends have expressed interest in going with me. But, whether they do or not, I am still going to do it. Now, granted, it will take me some time, as I can only do four days of hiking a year. The average thru hiker takes a total of six months if they walk straight through without stopping.

So, it will probably take me years to finish and indeed, I am hoping the boys will be old enough to finish with me. My plan is to start next September or October in Harper's Ferry, the midway point of the trail. I hope to get through to Pennsylvania in that hike, Lord willing.

I am excited about it. I cannot wait. And now, excuse me, I have to start training.

Bizarre Travels 1.1

My last post might be considered a bizarre travels post. It wasn't, as Put-In-Bay does not qualify as Bizarre, just cheesy. Maybe in the future I will start a cheesy travel section. If you are lucky, er, providentially favored.

Anyway, my Bizarre travel post for this post travels one hundred miles south of Columbus, Ohio to Point Pleasant, West Virginia. The town is right in the middle of the foothills of the Appalachian mountains. I went there because part of the story I am writing takes place in Point Pleasant, and I needed to get a feel for the town. Plus, it contained a story I had loved since i was a kid.

Growing up, I was not allowed to watch horror movies. So, I had to find some other way to feed the kid desire to scare myself. I did that by reading books on Bigfoot, UFO'S and other strange creatures. The one that scared me the most happend to be the Mothman stories. I remember reading the story alone in my house, and hearing a noise in the kitchen. I ran outside scared. It was the middle of the day. Silly, but not when you are nine.

So, what is the Mothman? The events began began in late 1966. A creature, described as an eight foot tall creature with wings, red eyes, and no face was spotted by a couple driving along a lonely country road.

Side note: These things always happen on lonely country roads at night, and if you have ever driven one, you know why.

Anyway, the creature was spotted by a number of people in the area. Now, the thing about small town people that most people do not get is this: they are not easily taken in, especially with something like this. Some of the hardest skeptics about anything in general are from the country, not the city.

Plus, there were all kinds of freaky events that happend in the next year. It all came to head in tragedy when the silver bridge over the Ohio River collapsed during rush hour traffic killing nearly fifty people.

So, there is certainly an eerie vibe about the place, which increases with each mile you drive. The foothills are a bit lonely and isolated. When you drive over the new bridge into Point Pleasant, you can see the remains of the old one, and imagine what it must have been like to be on a bridge falling into an icy river.

As you get into the town, Mothman stuff is all over the place, with the highlight being the Statue and the excellant Mothman Museum. The local are very open about talking about the Mothman and one guy drew me a map to the TNT area, where most of the sightings took place.

Of course, i had to go. The TNT area was used by the government to store dynamite in areas dug into the ground, shaped like large mounds with steal doors. Each mound is down a heavily wooded area and there are some areas with keep out signs.

Now, the place is only a few miles out of town, but I can tell you, I got the creeps.

As i headed back into town, i decided to check out the French and Indian war battlefield in town. It turns out the whole town of Point Pleasant is the battlefield, with a section by the river being the official place.

I loved this town and it was really helpful for my book. Turns out I got the creepy vibe right, and the people there are really nice. Oh, and the Mothman Festival is September 15 and 16th. Check it out at www.mothmanmuseum.com/MothmanLives/mothmanfestival2007/mothmanfestival2007.html

In Praise of Cheese

The transition to Columbus has not been a very smooth one. Colin is having a tough time and we have all been sick for about a month. We have not been able to go out, invite people over or do anything fun. That is why we needed a day of doing something out of town.

And we did, going to Put in Bay, Ohio, an island in the lake known as Erie. The village on the island is pretty much one large tourist trap. You have shops that sell crappy, cheap t-shirts, trinkets with the island's name on them, or anything else you don't really need. Not to mention all the restaurants, ice cream shops, putt putt golf course, fake gem mining and the "chocolate musuem".

And you know what? I loved every minute of it.

The boys got to go on their first boat ride, which they loved. We played putt putt golf, ate ice cream and generally behaved like tourists. Plus, the island has all of these golf cart rental places. Colin begged to go on one and so we finally did. Twelve bucks for an hour. And, an hour of full on joy for the boys. Quinn road in the front seat, laughed, and waved at all the people as we drove by them. The boys got cheap things, Colin got a bag of rocks (his favorite thing at the moment) and Quinn got a little toy ship. Ah, the bliss of being a kid.

There was some educational value as well. The Perry Memorial is on the Island, commerating the battle of Lake Erie, a very important naval battle from the war of 1812 (side note, the putt putt golf course has notes about the battle at every hole). that is where I bought my reminder of the day, a book on the battle itself.

So, why I am writing? Because, it is to encourage people like me, who tend to take themselves way too seriously, to enjoy touristy places like Put in Bay. There is nothing "corporate" about them. Most of the shops in places like this are owned by locals or families (I have a friend who owns a shop like it). So, you can support the local economy.


And above all, just experience life through the joy of being with your family, relaxing and enjoy being a tourist for awhile.

Last word on Harry, I promise

Just to add one more thought on Harry and proof of what I wrote below, here is a word for word quote from JK Rowling in her interview on NBC last night.

Young voice: Harry's also referred to as the chosen one. So are there religious--
J.K. Rowling: Well, there-- there clearly is a religious-- undertone. And-- it's always been difficult to talk about that because until we reached Book Seven, views of what happens after death and so on, it would give away a lot of what was coming. So … yes, my belief and my struggling with religious belief and so on I think is quite apparent in this book.

Meredith Vieira: And what is the struggle?
J.K. Rowling: Well my struggle really is to keep believing.
Meredith Vieira: To keep believing?
J.K. Rowling: Yes.

Harry Potter Review (warning, spoilers ahead)

When I first heard of Harry Potter, I was highly suspicious. I thought, with a lot of other Christians, it was an occultish novel, written to attract kids to witchcraft. Of course, I had not read the books, nor was I going to do so. What can I say? Legalism has always been a sin of mine, which Christ needs to constantly save me from.

Then, Wendy and I were talking with a church in Mississippi about going to be their youth pastor. We figured that most of the kids might have read the book (although, knowing more about the church, I realize now that was highly unlikely), so we decided to read the book. We were hooked and found out these books are not about magic at all.

They are about one thing that Jesus said, "Greater love has no man than this, then to give up his life for a friend."

Jo Rowling has ingrained that theme into every word in each of the seven books. But, even more, her books are about how sacrificial love overcomes death, evil and destruction. No where is this more apparent than in Deathly Hallows.

The first real glimpse of this is where Harry and Hermoine visit Godric's Hollow. While there, they visit Harry's parents grave and the graves of Albus Dumbledore's family. There are some interesting quotes on both of the tomb stones. On the Dumbledore tombstone, "Where your treasure is, there will your be heart be also."

The quote is from Matthew 6:21 and the sermon on the mount. It is an interesting quote, because we find out that Dumbledore, the wizard who is Harry's mentor, was not the great guy he came to be in his later years. He was obsessed with power, control, awards, etc. And it is because of that obsession that his sister died. So, it is telling that Dumbledore chose that quote for their tomb.

The second quote is from Harry's parent's tomb which reads, "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." This quote is so interesting, because unlike the Matthew reference, it is not as well known. It takes some finding to search this out in the Bible. It comes from 1 Corinthians 15:26. In that chapter, Paul is talking about Resurrection and the defeat of death that comes through Christ.

Now, isn't that interesting? If left here, it would just be a shadow, a hint of what JK Rowling was really writing about. But, it does not start there. I knew that Harry was going to have to make a sacrifice to save the wizarding world, all of the signs pointed to it. But, I thought she would not go so far as to have Harry die and be raised back up. I thought that she would be more subtle about it.

I was wrong and I am really glad I was wrong. Harry comes to the conclusion that he has to die to defeat Voldermort. But, more than that, that with his willing death, he will offer the same magical protection for his friends that his mother gave to him. Here is the quote, "I've done what my mother did. They're (his friends) are protected from you. haven't you noticed how none of the spells you put on them are binding? You can't torture them. You can't touch them."

Wow. I mean wow. Talk about pointing to Jesus' death and atonement in a beautiful way! And even more, the scenes where Harry goes to his death strongly resemble Aslan's journey in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Jo has given a beautiful picture that points directly to Christ and what she believes personally.

She hinted this would be so in an interview about four years ago. In that interview, she stated that she does believe in God and that she did not want to talk too much about that, as it would give away the ending of the book. Well, we have the ending and see what she is pointing at.

Thanks Jo. You have now reached my top three Christian writers of all time with Tolkien and Lewis. You deserve it.

Sometimes, you are just left speechless

I have no words for this other than I thought I had seen everything. I guess not.

www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com

Harry Potter Crystal Ball

My last few posts have been kinda heavy, so I thought I would lighten things up a bit. I am totally on fire for the new Harry Potter book. Seriously. I haven't gotten too excited about it before, but now that things draw near, my family is now with me, I can let my nerd self go.

Jo, if you ever read this, (which I doubt) you are an inspiration to me as I continue to write my story. You have made such an amazing world and done it with such class as a writer. Thank you. Take some much deserved time off.

So, in that spirit, here are my guesses with what will happen in Book Seven.


Major Question-What is with Severus Snape? Good? Bad? Ugly?

Well, he is ugly, but he won't be bad, or well, that is actually complicated. Let me put it this way, he is not a likeable guy. He is a jackass. But as Sirius said, the world is not always divided up between good people and Death Eaters (which is a great view of human sin). And, to be honest, when I first read that Snape killed Dumbledore, I was furious, hated him and relished the idea of Harry killing him.

But, once my brain took control, I started to realize that Snape might have done one of the hardest thing of anyone in the books. I believe that Dumbledore told Snape to kill him. How? Through Occulmency of course during that fatal moment on the tower. Snape's reaction wasnt because he hated Dumbledore, but because he knew what it would cost him. No friends on the good side, who all pretty much hated him anyway. That is why he reacts so strongly to Harry calling him a coward. And why he helped Harry, even in their final duel, as he tells him, "blocked again and again until you learn to close your mind."

Now, the question is, why? And the answer is, I have no idea. I don't even want to guess. But, take my word for it, Snape will help Harry, even as he helped him in book six through the Half Blood Prince book.


Second major issue, will Harry die? Now, Jo has once said in an interview that she did not want too many people to know that she was a Christian. Why? because it might give away the ending. What does that mean? It essentially means that sacrifice will play a huge role as it already has in so many ways, most especially through Harry's mother giving her life for him.

So, this means that Harry will die right? Dying for the wizard world? Maybe, but I don't think so. My theory (and others have come up with this as well, so I cant take credit for it) is that Harry's sacrifice will be his magical powers.

There are many strong hints that point to this. First and foremost, Jo has been asked over and over again if she believes in magic. She has said no and that when we reach the end of series, we will know why. Second, Harry is told constantly by Dumbledore that love is more powerful than any magic known to the wizarding world. But, also, Dumbledore's semiwhimsical statements about other things being more powerful that magic, such as music, etc.

Voldemort doesn't get this, but Harry will. He will give up his magical powers to defeat Voldemort. How will this happen? I have no idea, but the evidence is strongly in that direction. If i am wrong, totally fine, but it would really satisfy me, because Harry would not be dead, but victory over evil came with a sacrifice. A pretty big one in Harry's world.


Other Minor Predections (Some serious and some not so serious)

Ron and Hermoine will be engaged or married by the end of the book. Possibly Ron will get smart and pop the question at Bill and Fleur's wedding.
So will Ginny and Harry.
Lupin will kill the werewolf who bit him, but then be in turn killed by Wormtail.
The flying car will a huge role in the book.
We will see Godric's Hollow and the graves of Harry's parents.
Godric's Hollow will play a huge role in the book (Deathly Hallows, Hollow, get it?)
I think there will be a major event at Bill and Fleur's wedding, possibly a death eater attack, with characters killed. Horrible, but its possible.

Deaths-
Hedwig-a seemingly minor death, but it would make me sad.
Hagrid- I cannot believe he has lasted this long
McGongall-She is a target as the new headmistress of Hogwarts
Two Weasleys- I hate this, but I just have this horrible feeling two of them will go. The twins? Maybe, but more likely Mr. and Mrs Weasley.
Lupin- by far one of my favorite, if not favorite Characters in the books.

I think all of the three will survive, but will be "hurt" in some way.

Anyway, those are my thoughts and I am sticking to them!

Alive at 33

One of my favorite U2 songs is "Hold Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me. There is a line in that song that really describes my life up to this point. I turned 33 on Sunday. This has always kinda been a signficant age for me. Not sure why. I am sure in the back of my mind is the whole thing that Jesus died and rose from the dead at this age, at least according to church tradition.

Anyway, the lines from the song go like this:

"They want you to play Jesus/to go down on one knee/but they want their money back if you're alive at 33/you are turning tricks with your crucifix/you are a star"

Basically, its Bono reflecting on his bumpy relations with the church. Early in his career, Christians piled so many expectations on him and when he turned out to be a human sinner, a lot of them turned on him, saying he wasnt a Christian, etc. All that has changed recently, of course, but it was not five years ago I was defending his Christianity to many believers.

But, it isnt Bono's life that I reflect on when I hear these words. I think about my own. I am really sorry if this post seems pretentious or dramatic, but I have been thinking about this for awhile.

I have been a Christian most of my life. I have gone to Church, Christian schools, grew up in a Christian home. None of that I regret at all. But, what has me going is how many times I was told in that time I was a "Christian" leader. In high School, I was the guy who was given awards for Christian leadership, the teachers loved my "Christianity" and predicted I would do big things for God.

That wasn't bad either. People were just trying to build me up. But, I swallowed it all with a dose of poison.

That did not change when I got to seminary. I was told I had all of this promise, talent and ability. That was all nice, I guess, if I wasn't a sinner and totally turned all of those things into pride. And let that pride almost destroy me and my faith as I tried so hard to be a head pastor for five years, trying to live up to those expectations. Trying to be what everyone thought I should be instead of really listening to what God wanted and what He thought I should be.

I think I have suprised and disappointed a lot of people in "stepping back" to be an assistant pastor. But, I love my job. I have never been happier in my ministry. It's great to be second. It's great not having to live up to expectations. It's great just trying to follow Jesus, love the Gospel and help others do the same. It's all I ever really wanted to do.

I am alive at 33. I cannot die and save anyone. Nor can I raise them from the dead. There is only one Man who did that, I am not Him. I serve Him, badly, most of the time and totally reliant on His Grace. I am no longer turning tricks with my crucifix, giving off the illusion of a "holy" life. I am just an object of Grace now, as I have always been. And I hope to help others understand.

What do James Dobson and Judd Apatow have in Common? Lots!

I think this will be the most controversial post I have ever put on my blog. It was prompted by me seeing the movie "Knocked Up" recently. The movie was directed by Judd Apatow who has, in my book, quickly become one of my favorite Hollywood directors. If you don't know the plot of the movie, it begins by hot girl getting knocked up by a pot smoking slacker.

Seems like an ordinary gross out, raunch comedy right? Not worthy of viewing?

Wrong.

That is where Apatow is a genius. Yes, the movie contains many moments that makes me unable to recommend this movie to most people. But, just like his first movie, 40 year Old Virigin, there is a moral there that is completely old fashioned, and well, one that James Dobson would love. That is, parenthood is tough and hard, but it is a wonderful thing. A beautiful thing, a worthy thing. That a kid should have a mom and a dad, even when things are not perfect. That it is good to be responsible and doing it is hard work.

In the movie 40 year old Virgin, it was all about a guy who never had sex and all of his friends were trying to get him to have it. It was a total send up of our sex obsessed culture. The end result? The guy (played by the genius Steve Carrell) wants to want until he is married and that is what he does.

I am going to go out and make a recommendation. Dr. Dobson, maybe you should use these two films to recruit people for Focus on the Family. Use them as a jumping off point for discussion to instruct people about waiting for sex until marriage is good, and the family is an amazing thing.

As long as I am dreaming, I would like to hang out with Bono, C.S. Lewis, JRR Tolkien, M. Night Shamalyan, and Flannery O'Connor in a Dublin pub for an evening.

A Pop Culture Manifesto

There is a scene in Lady in the Water that I really love. It's were a kid gets an otherwordly message from reading cereal boxes. I love that scene because I identify with that kid. I feel like I have spent my life looking "cereal boxes" looking for deeper meaning in them. Or, to be more direct, looking at the pop culture I grew up with and trying to find the deeper meaning there.

Most folks say there is no deeper meaning there. It is disposable, trash, not worth looking at. I disagree. There is much to be learned there and much that needs to be seen. And I have spent a lot of time in my life trying to argue this. There are times where I feel like I am beating my head against the wall, especially the walls that exist in the church. Christians seem to have this dichotomy when it comes to pop culture. They argue its trash and it has no meaning, but they consume it in mass amounts.

Something weird about that, I think. Seems like a split personality thing. Continue to be involved pop culture by all means. But, consume with your eyes open, understand what is going on, search for the meaning "under the trash". It is there.

It is why I was thrilled to read Chuck Klosterman's book, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. This guy has some amazing insights into American pop culture and its meaning. And he does it from the perspective not from a guy who stands "above" it, but as an active participant in it.

I realize this post is random and sorry about that. But, I want to finish with a pop culture moment that just happend. If you have seen it, you will know what I mean. It was at the MTV movie awards hosted by Sarah Silverman (what is it with me that I don't think she is funny at all? I guess I forfeit my hipster status). She was commenting on Paris Hilton going to jail. Paris was in the audience. Fine. But then she goes on to make a horribly awful joke at Paris' expense. The camera showed Paris' reaction. She was obviously pissed.

But, that wasnt the disturbing thing about it. It was the way the room reacted to it. They laughed, cheered and thought it was funny. And the stupid thing is, most of the people in that room had probably kissed Paris' butt at one time or another. It was the ultimate picture of what fame and chasing fame will get you, a broken heart.

Now, I am not a fan of Paris Hilton, but, she is a human being. And as a fellow human being, I just hurt for her. It was awful and was such a great illustration of the brokeness that is in all of us.

A Pop culture moment that you might miss if you were not paying attention. If you want to know where most people live, its there, not in the art galleries, or other institutions of higher culture. If you want to know your neighbor, that is where they live. Continue to go to art galleries, art films, etc. I love all that stuff too. But, don't expect that most people in America live this way and that they will follow you to those places. I think that as believers, we have to learn to bridge "high" culture with "low" culture transforming them both.

Nine Years is Not Enough

Today is my anniversary. It sucks because my wife is still a thousand miles from me, still living in Florida as we go through this lengthy and frustrating transition period. But, it has had one positive affect on my life.

It makes me realize how much I cannot function very well without my wife. And really, for good reason. The Bible says that when man and woman come together, they become one flesh. Now, we often overspiritualize this and never think through the implications of it. I certainly never have, until now. I am not myself right now. I am missing part of me, my wife. I am half a person. All the great friends I have made in Columbus only know half of a person, because part of my flesh is missing.

Sounds like a codependent confession right? Well, maybe it is. but, at least its a biblical codependency. Think about it. When someone who you might know has lost a spouse, everyone comments how that person is not the same. Of course they arent! Half of them is now gone.

It makes me realize not just how much we need our spouses (if you are married) but how much we need other people. We are so on fire to show how damn independent we are, that we never stop to think how lonely we really are. We have more freedom as individuals in this country then anyone at anytime in human history. Yet, somehow, people are miserable. You don't believe me? Maybe that is because you have locked people out of your life as well and dont see it. I talked to my best friend the other day whom I haven't talked to in a while. I didnt realize how much i missed him. It was stupid, really, because I can talk to him any time I want. But, being a male, i don't.

God has made us to be in communion with Him and other people. That is why He said in the beginning, it is NOT good for man to be alone. Which brings me back to my wife. God made Eve for Adam, a little hottie who would be his helper. The literal translation for Adam's reaction when he saw his wife is roughly, "hubba, hubba, thank God I am a man".

Okay, not really, but you get the idea.

Baby, when you read this, I say in Hebrew, hubba, hubba,
thank God I am a man. I am so glad He chose me to be your husband. I do it terribly, horribly and I know I am a jackass sometimes. But, I love you more now then I ever have. Because, it isnt good for me to be alone. God said so.

The Confessions of Jane Austen

I need to confess something. Something I have kept hidden from everyone but my wife. It is a secret that might change everything and the way you all view me. But, in the spirit of openess, I feel I must confess. History will judge me if I was right to make this public. So be it.

but, before I do, I must tell you, I love sports of all kinds, and all other kind of male activities. I can scream and yell at guys who I do not even know for doings wrong that really have no effect on my life whatsoever. I know all of this, but i still do it. I play fantasy football every year, just for bragging rights on something I had really nothing to do with at all.

Why am I saying all of this? Well, because of the confession.

I am a Jane Austen fan. No, she isn't a sexy model or a hot actress. She is a writer. A very good one. Well, great one really. And she writes novels that most guys would not touch with a ten foot pole. It's really too bad, because they are missing out.

Me? I love her, her writing and her stories. They are moving, good in depth character studies and simply fantastic to read.

Some of you might say, well, here is a primary case of a husband pretending to love what his wife does. Well, certainly, I was introduced to Jane Austen by my wife. No question about that. And, certainly, my love for her writing is linked to the love i have for my wife. but, it would be more accurate to say that my love for Jane Austen grew out of the garden of love that I have for my wife. Wow, hope that wasnt too cheesy.

Anyway, for guys who like to read, JA is a good one. Her character development alone is worth it. But, from a theological perspective, she affirms and critiques in ways that should be appreciated. While affirming a good marriage and the need for it, along with the crying need for community, she also takes a good stab at the pretention and pride that we often set up for ourselves in our lives. Or to put it in a clear way, she shows what happens when people take the created thing and put it in the place of the Creator, whether that be marriage, friendship, land, money or social standing. Her eye is unflinching and intelligent without being cynical or morose, two horrible ailments that have gripped my generation.

So, pick up Jane Austen. Enjoy it. I did. Even as I was waiting for the start of Spiderman 3 surrounded by a bunch of drunk frat boys at the midnight showing, I was reading Jane.

Contradiction? Maybe, but one I can live with.

Bizzare Travels 1.0

Okay, so I am starting a new thing on my blog called, "Bizzare Travels." I have always had a taste for the weird of America. So, here, I will write about some of my experiences in these places. Might be interesting, or maybe not.

The first place I am going to focus on are my travels out west. I have been to the Southwest about six times now, and all of those times where done by driving. I know, I know, but first, I hate to fly, and second, when you drive, you see all of America and its weirdness.

For example, you see the greatest roadside attractions out west. On the border of Arizona, there is unimaginable beauty with giant rocks and cliff on the side of the road. It is especially amazing if you hit this spot just as the sun rises. The resulting colors look like a bowl of fruit loops, except brighter and way more beautiful. Oh yeah, and you cannot eat them either.

But, there is also this weird roadside stand that sells all kinds of stuff ranging from cheap tourist crap (cactus seeds being my favorite and ones i actually bought. They didnt work very well) to beautiful hand made crafts from the Navajo reservation.

However, there is one roadside attraction out west that truly takes the crown, and that is the gas station/road side musuem/total crap shop that is advertised for 200 miles along the road from Las Cruces, New mexico to Tuscan Arizona. And it contains a bit of a mystery, something that has baffeled scientists, historians and such knowledgable persons.

It is simply the mystery of "The Thing". What is the thing? well that is the question, isnt it? It is in a box with a glass top. So, what is it? As if i am going to tell you! It is mysterious, strange, and a thing. Isnt that enough for you to take a drive out in the middle of nowhere in the Arizona desert to find out? Hmmmm????? It might just change your life.

Or, maybe not.

Be a Real Dad or Mom

Ask yourself something. Do I really need another tie for Father's Day? A bundle of flowers for mother's day? well maybe, but how about doing something different?

How about telling your spouse to take half the money that might spend on you and make a donation to International Justice Mission. If you dont know this organization, they rescue kids from work houses and sexual slavery around the world. It is a great work they are doing, so take some time to be a parent to a kid half way around the world.

Here is their link, and join me in giving half your well earned present as a parent to help other kids.

www.ijm.org

It is finished

I don't know if everyone knew this, but I have been writing a book. Well, have been writing for four years. The idea first came to me ten years ago in college and it started off as a kid's book about a boy named Lewis and a dwarf named Archibald. And now, the idea has completely changed and evolved in a way that I can hardly believe. Archibald is no longer a dwarf, but a shapeshifter with a dark past trying to be a hero. The story has gotten darker, but also better, as it is more truthful while showing good over evil.


It is weird to think that all of this came out of my head and my imagination. But, really, it has been a life time coming. I have always loved the weird and strange about America. The weird roadside attractions, the mysterious mounds, the weird creatures that haunt our woods and little traveled places. And, I think it is all that inspired this book. It has been fun to write, and write, and write and write. I think certain sections have undergone at least ten rewrites.

I think it is a good story. But, the writing, well, i am trying hard to be a better writer. Thanks to my wife and some friends and a writer's group, i think I have gotten better.

Now, if I can just get an agent and find a publisher who will publish the silly thing.

Stephen King and the Cost of Fighting Evil

I have avoided reading Stephen King pretty much my whole life. I, sadly, judged a book by its cover and thought King was "just" a horror writer.

How wrong I was.

My favorite TV show is Lost and it has been well established that the book, The Stand, had a huge influence on the writer's of that show. So, at the prompting of a friend of mine (thank you Kiley), I picked up the book.

I was hooked right away. The story was amazing and introduced me to a theme in King's writing that has such an amazing truth.

Fighting evil comes at a terrible personal cost.

We are so naive to think that when we fight evil or make a stand against it, that it will just wilt and go away. It doesn't and it fights back. The cost might be anything. Our baby having seizures in the hospital. Our house failing to sell for some strange reason when there is no earthly reason it should not sell. Our health going down hill. It is always something.

I think about this as I pray for my city, Columbus. Our church is looking to transform our city by the Love of Christ that lives in us. That is a direct challenge to the evil in the city, as the evil thinks the city belongs to it. And maybe, we might be tempted to agree. There are horrible things that go on here. The rape rate is one of the highest in the country. Those with aids in our city are neglected not just by the church, but the whole community. There are orphans. Single moms who are preyed upon. Young girls forced into a life of prostitution. People steal. People lie. Nature is gutted (yes this is a sin). And with each act, our city becomes a little more dark.

but the city does not belong to the powers of darkness. It belongs to Jesus. He loves it. And He seeks to bring beauty to it. And we ought to be agents of the beauty, not to bring more darkness. To make beautiful art. To help the aids patients by holding their hands when they die. To make nature a priority and take care of it. To make sure young women are protected.

But beauty will come at a cost. We have to be ready for it. The battle between good and evil, beauty and ugliness, all of it comes at a price. Because evil will not set back and let it happen.

Back to Stephen King. I am a huge fan and in fact consider him in the top five of my favorite authors (O'Connor, Tolkien, Lewis, King and Lawhead would be the order). If you have avoided King like i did, shame on us! You will find nowhere in popular fiction the discussion of the battle betweeen God and evil discussed in such stark, honest, and beautiful terms.

Yes, Stephen King is beautiful. I said it.

Of Weddings and coordinators

One of the great things about being a minister is that you get to do weddings. I love that part of the job. This weekend, I was able to officiate the wedding of my two best friends. How cool is that? It was so great to see two people who love Jesus and each other be married. It was truly a joyful experience.

Anyway, the experience made me think about my other weddings and all the fun stuff that came with them. The thing that really gets me is that we have turned weddings in our culture into something other than what they should be. Meaning, weddings have become all about show, rather than focusing on what is going on. Don't believe me? Look around. Weddings have become big business from the tuxes, to caterers and for crying out loud, even the churches. A wedding has become a staged performance rather than what is should be; two people coming together before God in a worship service.

Because, that is what a wedding really is. It is a worship service to the God of creation who made marriage and the two people coming together worship Him for that amazing gift. It is not a performance. It is not a race to see who can spend the most money on stuff that will not last past the wedding day. It is a time for God to be worshiped by the marriage of two people and for all those people who come to celebrate what that couple is doing.

And because of that, the minister is in charge of the ceremony. Now, this part maybe totally ego. And I have nothing against wedding coordinators. I think they do a great job in helping with the logistics and positioning of people in the ceremony. I love having them there for that.

What irritates me is when the coordinator tries to take over the ceremony. The coordinator I worked with this weekend was great and she did a great job. However, I have worked with some in the past who thought they were completely in charge and had a right to interfere with the ceremony. Not happening.

Anyway, it just made me wonder, my friends wedding was all about God and Christ being the center of marriage. I wonder if in our rush to make the wedding all about the couple (and in fact all about the bride) that we doom some marriages from the start. Because, we teach couples that marriage is all about serving their needs, even in a Christian marriage. Guess what? It isn't.

Maybe ministers are more to blame for the Christian divorce rate then we like to admit.

Caffeine Withdrawl Sucks

I needed to get off caffeine. It ruled my life and it was starting to affect my health. I couldnt sleep and felt like I constantly needed to be doing something. Then, I would crash feeling like doing nothing.

So, it was all about the caffeine. And I resolved to get off it.

It is horrible. You shake, you have panic attacks, your body goes on complete craving cycle. You feel like you are going to vomit. At first, I thought something was wrong with me until I did a little research and found these side affects are very common. And that most Doctors feel that coming off caffeine is like coming off any other addictive drug. It takes a week to two weeks to fully be free of it.

Wonderful. I hope this is all worth it because I feel terrible right now. I cannot concentrate, and I feel this constant need for something, the need for caffeine. Water helps alot, but doesnt do away with the affect right away.

I know it doesnt really compare, but I have complete sympathy with people who have to get off heroin or some such drug. The desperate need for something, the body crying out for it and not getting it. I have much more sympathy for them.

I think this is what St. Paul meant when he said to beat the body and make it your slave, so you are not its slave. Of course, that can apply to anything, but I think it is anything that has control over you. TV. Sex. Food. Whatever. Heck, apparently even cell phone addiction is now a problem.

Now, that is one I don't understand. But, then, maybe that is another post.

Owls

I was reading in bed last night getting ready to go to sleep. As my eyes were closing, I hear a loud screeching sound. My eyes opened and wondered whether a character from my book was coming to get me. I laughed as I began to realize what was making that noise.

An Owl.

I love owls. They are mysterious creatures to me. Their eyes open wide staring at you like they can see into your soul. It is a bit unsettling, I will admit, but I still like the affect. Their cries in the night unsettle me. It disturbs my comfort with the material world around me reminding me there is something more. It is no wonder that people have often associated the owl with wisdom or a messenger. Fanciful? Maybe. but I still like the idea. Yet another reason why JK Rowling is so cool.

But seriously, about owls. In Columbus where I live, apparently there is now an invasion of owls. No one is quite sure why this might be the case. There is an article in the Columbus Dispatch about it.

Anyway, what's not to like about owls? Well, unless you are walking alone in the woods at night. I have heard that the screams from the owls can kinda freak you out. And, I am guessing the eyes in the night are kinda scary too. But then again, maybe it reminds us by the prickling of our skin, the hair raising on the back of our necks, and our heart racing when we hear the owl, that there is something more. Something beyond what we cannot see but is just as real.

AJ Ayer, a philosphy professor of language did not think so. He thought that language could only convey something true if it was talking about something scientifically verifiable. At least, that is how I understand his theory so far. So, if i say, the Owls eyes or hoots remind me of something other that cannot be seen. I am just speaking my feelings about it, not what is really true. Or if I say a waterfall is beautiful, it is only my feelings, not any real sense true.

Confusing? Of course it is. And in reality, the philosophy behind it is all wrong. How? with a simple question, can Professor Ayer tell me if his statement about science his feeling or can it be proven? Isnt it a vicious cycle? Isnt the theory self refuting? I dunno. I hope I am not doing him a disservice. I hope I am stating his theory correctly. It seems his feelings about science go beyond his own theory.

Personally, I am gonna still be freaked out and love owls. Those are my feelings. They can only be true for me, right?

Living in Columbus Ohio

I have lived in Columbus for two and half months now.

I love it.

There are many reasons for it. First, I love the church here. It is an amazing church with a great guy as the senior pastor. We have worked so well together I cannot believe it. I have to keep pinching myself. and, the people here are so amazingly talented and love Jesus. It challenges me and pushes me in all kinds of areas. It is the church of my dreams. I know this is dramatic, but it really is.

Second, I love the city itself. It might seem strange to people who live in a city that has more of everything; more things to do, more sun, more people, more mountains, more beaches, etc. But for a city this size, it has an incredible life and vibe. The city is home to Ohio State University which kicks up its energy. There are plenty of music venues, activity, coffee houses fueled by creative energy of 50000 college students. Plus, I have become a raving Buckeye fan thanks to the four basketball games I went to this season.

But, there is more here and I keep discovering it all the time. The book stores, oh the beautiful book stores. Used, new, independent. You name it. Books are like a drug to me. Every time I walk into a book store, its like a junkie shooting up. Graphic image? Maybe, but it is true. When I lived in Lakeland, Florida, I kept having withdraw. Books A Million? Please. It's like walking into a warehouse with a bunch of books. No life. No vibe. No atmosphere.


The art museum is really great as well. It is small but has plenty to offer. It is good for a Sunday afternoon.

There is more and I will keep talking about it as I discover more.

Welcome to Reformed Charismatic Pope

Here it is. I have stared my first blog. I have no idea why I have never started one. Busy, I guess. I am Husband, Dad, minister and a writer. That takes up a lot of time. Now, I am an assistant pastor and I have way more creative time. So here is part of that creative energy.

Since this is a welcome, I should explain the name, Reformed Charismatic Pope. Back in college, a friend of mine said I would end up being the first Reformed Charismatic Pope. He was talking about my background, born Catholic, raised in the Charismatic movement and now a minister in a denomination that holds to reformed theology.

And really, the name still fits, I think. I am certainly Reformed, which means that I hold to a certain theology that believe that God is sovereign over all of life including how people are saved. I am charismatic in the sense that I believe the Holy Spirit works today. I don't believe in speaking in tongues. However, I believe the Holy Spirit is active in ways that would make some of my denomination (PCA) uncomfortable to talk about. And finally, the pope. Well, I love church history and I believe that we have 2000 years of church history, not just since the Reformation. I will expand on all of this more.

Hopefully.